Pre-Teen Girls In A Grown-Up World

From Abercrombie and Fitch padded swimsuits for preteens, to Walmart launching a new make up product line, GeoGirl, for the too young for Maybelline age group. What’s an American girl to do? Better yet, what is a parent to do? The commercial ads are so confusing, young women have no idea what they should feel about themselves. The self-image of these young women are so skewed that they have no idea what they should look or act like, drink, eat or even what phone they should have (which is another story).

What ever happened to the innocent years of pubescence? The television shows are no better. With shows like MTVs “16 and Pregnant”, “My Super Sweet Sixteen”, “Teen Mom” no wonder these girls are confused. As a parent, it is mortifying to see some of the shows that are being depicted to young girls as the norm. It seems no one is raising their own kids with value anymore, they are far more content to allow the television to determine values that should be acquired from parents, not from television executives that are taking advantage of the decline of the family.

Surely, those of us that have a commitment to raising a family with Christian values are considered “old-fashioned”, “still living in the 20^th century”, or even “prudes”. Then so be it. I, for one, still think there is a place for modesty in our society. It is unnerving to walk into a department store with my husband and the young sales associate is scantily clad as if auditioning for a Victoria’s Secret lingerie ad. When did the tides change so much that we as adults feel we have no input in our children’s lives? There are children who cannot pass a state proficient exam, yet can recite all of the lyrics to some of the most offensive “songs” if you can call it that, on the Billboard Top 20.

The once good girls in the media are now the bad girls with no remorse. The likes of Hanna Montana (Miley Cyrus) who has gained millions of dollars through the marketing of an icon through Disney now has morphed into a drug and sex goddess. It begs the question, is Miley Cyrus the alter-ego of the innocent and do the right thing Hanna Montana usually seen on her television show bringing a morally correct end to a dilemma played out on screen? Then there is the forerunner Britney Spears, who also began as a young artist with an impressive fan base. After gaining attention, age and fame, her rise to stardom also gave way to more risque attire, lyrics and gyrations to match. Her personal life mirrored her professional in that she was seen in provocative positions and revealing clothing. Her drunken tirades were usually caught by the paparazzi who gained enormous amounts of money for their capture of her inappropriate behaviors. Unfortunately, these public princesses have left an indelible mark on the conscience of both the young and old.

So where do we go from here? We cannot afford to wait twenty or thirty years to study the effects of the deterioration of our moral fabric. The time to act is now. But how do we begin to counter the effects of the damage that has already been done? For starters, we need to become parents again. How do we accomplish that? Limit the time spent on phones, texting, computers, and viewing television. Children are inundated with visual stimulation that is counterproductive. It is not okay for an eight, ten or twelve year old to watch a television show called "16 and Pregnant", that should be a dead giveaway that it is not age-appropriate. That would require parents actually sitting down with their children and viewing a television show with their children and quit relying on the television to spend time with your child. Considering children are at school an average of eight hours a day five days a week, that leaves a limited amount of time for parent involvement. So our actions should be mirrored by our children. Now to my next recommendation, which is self-examination. Are we as parents watching television shows that are offensive or too mature for young audiences in their presence? Not only television, but the movies we watch as a family or even the music that are in our automobiles. Perhaps that is a good jumping off point. . . where are our priorities? Are we insistent that our children are spending quality family time or allowing them to seclude themselves in order to do as they choose? Thirdly, it is okay to tell your children “no”, not vice versa. Parents set boundaries, not children. Research has shown that children are more productive when they have restrictions and structure.

Parenting is a very difficult job, but it is imperative that our young women have a healthy sense of themselves. It is important to know that they do not have to appeal sexually to the masses in order to be a creature of value. Everyday we as a society are bombarded with images and subliminal messages that tell us that we are not good enough, we are not as physically appealing or we need the next revolutionary product to be the “complete package”. But we were a complete package when we were born. Yes we may have large or thin thighs, flat or plump back sides, ample or flat chests, green, blue or brown eyes, long, short, thin, thick, brown, blond or even red hair, but those things make us the individuals we are.

At a young age, we do not need for our young ladies to feel they need to compete and prove they are desirable to the opposite sex. What we need to do is to reassure them that who they are is defined as much by their self-respect as their physical outward appearance. Remember, what we teach our children, wherever it comes from, will determine in part, what type of productive or non-productive citizen they will become. Although Walmart, Abercrombe and Fitch, Target and the likes have the option to sell whatever they choose. However, our consumer dollars is the best way to communicate to the merchants our dissatisfaction.